Dear Parents,

At E-Smart, we work hard to keep our classrooms safe and positive while helping kids learn to treat each other with respect. But as we all know, accidents sometimes happen, kids bicker, and things occasionally get out of hand. When they do, our biggest goal isn’t to hand out blame—it is to encourage our students to take responsibility, learn from it, and make things right.

How we guide them through these moments depends heavily on the partnership between school and home. The way parents interact with the school definitely has an impact on how students perceive the world and behave accordingly. Apparently, while teachers have evolved from being authoritative to be more empathetic, parenting styles have also changed over the years.  Looking back at my own childhood, two very different experiences with my parents taught me a lasting lesson about what it truly means to be fair and accountable.

When I was about nine, a playground argument broke out between my friends and another group. Being the leader of our pack, I ended up tackling another boy who pushed me, causing a minor cut on his arm. Since we lived in the same neighbourhood, his mother came straight to my house to tell on me. The second my mother heard the complaint, she spanked me right then and there in front of the visitor. There was no discussion, no trial, and no chance for me to explain or apologize. The other parent left satisfied. On the surface, my mother looked highly responsible, but the actual conflict wasn't resolved. In my young eyes, she was strict, but not reasonable.

On the flip side, I remember my father handling a childhood fight very differently when I was barely three. He calmly told the other parent he would deal with it privately. Once they left, he sat me down and asked for my side of the story. He listened and realized I had been provoked. He didn’t punish me; instead, he reminded me to control my emotions. My dad didn’t even ask me to apologize, but because he was so reasonable, I gladly would have done it just out of respect for him.

Today, we see a very different phenomenon. Instead of old-school discipline, there can sometimes be a slide into over-protective parenting—where the instinct is to make assumptions, protect one’s own child at all costs, and point fingers before hearing the full story. As educators, we trust that reasonable parents will partner with us, pause, and listen to all perspectives rather than jumping to conclusions. It brings up a great question for all of us: Do we want our kids to take responsibility for their behaviour, or simply learn to blame others?

We saw a beautiful example of real accountability a few weeks ago. After a minor, accidental classroom dispute over some stationery, a student chose to take the high road. He wrote an incredibly honest, mature apology letter. He didn't hide the facts—he explained that he was provoked and trying to protect his work—but he still had the integrity to write, "I sincerely apologize to you. I am sorry, please forgive me."

I highly applaud this student. By owning his reaction despite the provocation, he showed a maturity that will take him very far in life. Kudos to his family for some truly excellent parenting!